She Builds a Vineyard: A Single Parent’s Transformational Journey. The revised version of the first book will be released soon. I am so excited!!! View and enjoy the video for the except in chapter 6. click this highlighted link… She Builds a Vineyard – Chapter 6. You may purchase you copy at http://www.shebuildsavineyard.com.
Posts Tagged ‘Willie Mae Hawkins’
On February 18, I went to the post office as a part of my normal task. To my surprise, I received a package from my son. The box was addressed to “Mommy” – not my name, as most mailings are addressed. With much curiosity, I immediately opened it. There were a teddy bear holding a ‘I LOVE You” heart and a plaque. The plaque held the words of his love for his mommy…Me. Have you ever read a card that describes your relationship with someone to the exact detail? It was as if that person took time to get the perfect card. Well, as I read the plaque, I noticed he took time to get the perfect plaque. Lest to say, tears began to fall right at the counter in the post office. A lady standing beside me asked me about my tears. And I shared the box, the bear with the “I Love You” heart, and the plaque. She began to cry too. She recalled all the work we put into our children so that they can have a better life. ‘All the work’ is not easy work, they are sacrifices. It is more than giving them material possessions, name brand sneakers, the top fashion design, etc. Yet, it is ‘all the work’ we put into them to love themselves, to see their gifts and life potential to be great people who can make a difference in the world.
Sacrifices include moments when your child doesn’t seem to understand why momma has rules and expectations. I remember the times we often disagreed and tough decisions I had to make. Times like not allowing him to go to the military ball while in high school, because he failed to keep organization for his six-week compilation folder. It was small things like that which lead him to understand greater responsibility like going to college today.
Receiving this package today lets me know that he is thankful and he does understand what I tried to do when he was in the home. It also affirms the hard work I put forward to parenting was not in vain. I am thankful to God for guiding me through the process!
………………….Rev. Willie Mae Hawkins, M.Div., D.Min(ABD)…………….
As an Regional Consultant to the Women’s Ministry in the United Church of Christ (UCC), My committment is to serve the women in the Southern Region. The Southern Conference alone consists of 3 associations, 219 churches, and approximately 20,000 women.
Western North Carolina Association
Eastern North Carolina Association
Eastern Virginia Association
In 1 Corinthians 3:1, Paul writes to the church at Corinth stating they are infants in Christ. He states there is jealousy and quarreling among them. As I ponder on the text in regards to ministering to single parents, I think of the quarreling we have within our inner selves. This inner quarreling occurs because we are not balanced with the demands in life as single parents.
There are the demands for proper care for children. Maintaining the financial obligations for home, children, and food sometimes get the best of us. For many who are still climbing that steep mountain of going to school and advancing on the job, this seems to be an on-going lifetime challenge. As our children grow into wanting their own independence, there are the personality conflicts that demand resolution. We wonder if the demands will ever come to an end.
We, too, sometimes are jealous by resenting our lives becasue we are not where we had hoped to be. Our stress levels are high due to the worries of our children, finances, jobs, and relating with others. For some, they still yearn for a mate to help with the responsibilities, to be the companion they desire, or to provide financial security when time gets tough.
If we have not learned to balance our lives in the midst of the demands as a single parent, I question, “Are we still infants in Christ? Balance begins with God as the center of our being. It is God who mends our fragmented lives where we can have balance to the demands of life. God places supportive people who continue to encourage us toward His greatness. God leads us to resources, which includes resources to strengthen our relationships with ourselves, our children, and with others. Indeed, it is God who gives us peace that surpasses all understanding. That is the peace within our inner selves–our souls.
One of the first steps toward maturity in Christ is allowing God to take total control over your life. Although a mate or a husband is not in the home, allow God to be the head of your single parent home. Each day, God will purge your heart and reshape your thinking to the demands of this world. Be mindful, if conflicts continue to be hard to bear, God will guide you to a good spiritual coach, counselor, or leader who can lead you to a greater insight of your conflict… just as Paul was to the church at Corinth.
Prayer: Dear God, Help us to calm the quarrelling within our inner being. Give us peace within our souls. Give us the understanding of how to handle the demands of life as a single parent. And, when conflicts continue to be unease, lead us to someone who can assist us to better understand toward your guidance. Amen.
~copyright 2009@Willie Mae Hawkins
I just received this email news from someone in my home town (names were removed) ….
“A 71 year old women was being held in jail without bond Tuesday after County authorities said she beat her husband over the head with a frying pan.
Deputies responded to an assault call Friday morning and found paramedics treating her husband, 85 yrs old, for head injuries. A spokesman from the County Sheriff’s Office determined that the husband and his wife had argued over what she had cooked for breakfast.
The couple continued to bicker as the wife cooked another meal, and the argument escalated to the point that the husband raised his cane as if he were ready to hit his wife. The wife then hit him on the head several times with an iron frying pan.
The wife was charged with assault with a deadly weapon, and authorities said she was being held without bond because the charge stemmed from a domestic dispute. The husband was taken to a local Regional Medical Center, where he received 50 stitches to close his head wounds.”
One responded, “Too many Madea movies…………seriously, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE KNOWS NO COLOR, NO SEX, NO AGE.” Would your agree? My thought is this….Women are tired of being threatened and abused. Women have to fight back no matter how old they are. Sorry to say that she had to hurt him. But, just to think that she is 71 yrs old. How long did she deal with physical abuse…20, 30, 40, 50+ years!! Now, that’s terrible! …just terrible! What are your thoughts?
In most cases, a single parent is a person who is parenting alone. There is no spouse or partner in the home compared to the traditional family, such as the husband, wife, and children. On several occasions, there are married couples who parent alone, such as those separated and those who are separated due to their careers. In considering this, a single parent home consists of the household being maintained by one parent. Share your thoughts.
Get the E-book: Building Spiritual Transformation in a Single Parent Home … http://www.spring-inc.org/workshopseminar.html
I had a conversation with one of my friends a few days ago. I had to ponder on his thoughts for a while because of his confession to me. He confessed that he did not think well about single parents. I questioned why? He stated that they are always needy. They can’t handle their children. They come into your neighborhood and make the value of your homes go down. Because they can’t handle their children, their kids tear up everything. “Wow!” I responded. Again, I had to ponder on his honesty, as well as appreciate it. Yet, I sought for grace and mercy as if it lived within him somewhere. I was sure it did. Yet, he was stuck on his views.
I assessed his point of view by thinking of all that he has accomplished and worked for. He is retired now. He is married with adult children, lives in quiet a neighborhood, and tries to maintain what he has. Mmmm? To some degree, I can understand his point of view of valuing what he worked hard to achieve. I value what I have worked hard for also. However, at the same time, I struggle with the lack of understanding he and others have toward the life of a single parent. I also struggle with the stereotypes and labels placed on single parents all too often. Not all single parents are the same…their values, income, education, beliefs, parenting, etc. Finally I shared the concerns he mentioned are the same for some who are married with children.
Where are the single parents?! God is seeking singles with children to help build the Kingdom of God. For so long, single women with children have been rejected by the church. Many are yearning for God…yearning for understanding, love and redemption.
Spring, Inc. is here to provide spiritual support and create a sacred place for them to grow spritually. Join us!! http://www.springsingleparents.com ….
As a single parent, I know that we are often overwhelmed with responsibilites. One of the moments I treasured most is laughing with my son. Although we have conflicts, as any two people would, I found he is so comical and says the funniest things at times. In coaching and couseling, I encourage many to find that one thing that makes them laugh with their child or children. Yes, there is pain and frustration in parenting alone. Yet, there is something that brings joy. Thank God for those moments of freshness and the Spirit of God breathe between the relationship.
Spiritual Life Coaching is offered to those who seek it at http://www.williemaehawkins.com … Blessings!